If you were free to be your true self how will this world be to you? How about being authentic in every action you take without any fear of what people think or say? Well, we are hacked by a voice in our heads talking to us negatively that underrate our true self. Do wonder why you have such a voice? This how the whole story started, when we were young we learnt many things from our parents, guardians, caretakers, and the wide society, specifically what is good or bad which we still obsess about today as a moral code of our behavior in life.
Each moral code we learnt becomes part of ourselves because they were used as the basis by which punishment or reward was given. In our attempt to feel belonging and accepted by others we develop the need to please them at the expense of our true self, even judge ourselves harshly if we fail to measure up to the expectation of others because we are now addicted to the moral code our inner voice whisper to us.
Instead of experiencing our inner selves as strong, vital, powerful and joyful we see ourselves as weak, damaged, blameworthy or always at fault. Our poor sense of self put as at the mercy of others and a dire wish that others should make us feel good, but we shy away from these wishes by using various self defeating defense mechanism to keep our wish out of consciousness.
Most at times we try to suppress our emotions and desires but we still feel guilt and shameful because we rate ourselves as needy, unworthy, undeserving, and unlovable repugnant. What can we do to revitalize the self, to help us capture a sense of our true self as a center of initiative a participant rather than an observer, a source rather a victim of life?
Guilt is the emotion that makes us feel a sense of being wrong; “I shouldn’t have done or said that”. It is normal to feel guilt sometimes provided it is based on reality rather than a mental autopilot. If in reality you have done something wrong, which makes you feel guilt apologize and continue with your life. Life is a process, not an event, so do not feel stuck for making mistakes.
Most people think that shame is just a word we use to deter children from repeating bad behaviors. However, shame is an emotion that makes us feel the need to hide our true self be it our needs, desire or past experiences. What you hide rather grow well in the broad daylight, to free yourself from this prison surrender yourself with people who accept you unconditionally. Boldly expose every shameful belief about yourself it is a way of removing its’ power from crippling your creativity..
One of the problems in human relationship is the inability to build boundaries for others as when and what they can do in our midst. Most at times we assume that other people are rational beings, therefore we think that they should know what we like and what we do not like this assumption makes people confuse when they are dealing with us so they choose the way they want to treat you rather than what we are worth of . Build boundaries in your relationship and nurture them every day to enjoy your inner peace.
Develop a sense of play
Play is important for us in our emotional life. Taking things too seriously or personally only make us feel disappointed and a constant pressure to do something. Lighten up it is the simplest way to avoid the sudden overwhelming world of I am this attachment or mask.
Take care of yourself
Taking care of yourself, that is your mental habits, behavior and your physical body , thought patterns find time to celebrate yourself, reframe your past mistakes and plan your future. You are the only one who truly knows the motives behind your intentions nurture them well and always try your best to understand yourself because it is the beginning of self power. Eat good food and water, vaccinate yourself against incurable diseases.