Life can be so disappointing sometimes, but does it always stay that way? The answer is obviously no. we experience moments of good and bad in our daily life’s outcomes. So there is the need for all of us to examine our life’s patterns so that we can use the power of self acceptance to unleash our greatest potential.
To examine our life properly, we need to take some great amount of time and commitment to examine our life experience that is our weakness, mistakes, strengths and the opportunities we have at every moment. Self examination will help us release toxic thoughts, memories and emotions that sabotage our lives. As we go on with our daily life there is no need for obsession about what other people will say or think about us. If we rented a space in our heads for others in our lives, we are going to live our life for them.
What is important is that we should focus and do the best we can with our energy and resources to make life better for ourselves, but things will be easy for us if we examine our life and find the enemy within. Through research and experience I found that the following ways of examining ourselves can make us successful in life.
Examine your mindset: Mindset is everything and its’ one the powerful ways through which we can examine our life.There are so many mindsets that limit our ability to grow and stretch our lives beyond our comfort zone. For the purpose of awareness they are as follows: victim mentality you blame yourself for every bad thing that happens even if they are not related to you or a people pleaser mindset you always strive to be nice to others at the expense of yourself so that you can win their love and approval. Perfectionist mindset you have unrealistic expectations of yourself and the world, vulnerability mindset you always feel something bad might happen.
Others include failure mindset you feel that you are not good enough, exclusion mindset you always feel being left out or you feel your status in groups is not important, entitlement mindset you feel you are special therefore, rules, conventions and laws are not applied to you. The truth is you are not going to achieve anything with these kinds of mindsets. Each of these mindsets was developed at a particular point in life which served a purpose, but it’s no longer useful in your life now. You have to phase out all mindsets that sabotage you at this moment of your life.
Questions to help you find your disturbing mindset:
What is your reaction in your daily endeavors?
What was the trigger?
What were your feelings?
What were your thoughts?
What did you do?
What might be the origins?
Examine your thoughts: “It is not things themselves that trouble us,” wrote Epictetus, a first-century Greek philosopher, “but our thoughts about those things.” Thoughts are the gateway to success if you dwell on thoughts of fear, regrets, hatred towards others, thinking obsessively about things you cannot change, how you were hurt by people, your failures all those are simply a source of depression henceforth, let them go and have your peace of mind to focus on the good stuff. To get rid of unwanted thoughts in your head, ask yourself the following questions:
Do I have a goal in life? If yes
Have I taken any step to achieve my goal? If no
Why haven’t I got any step towards reaching my end?
Any other relevant questions
What thoughts do you dwell on in the evening? Worries or plans?
What thoughts do you dwell on about your relationships? Fears or love?
What thoughts do you dwell on about your business? Regret or hope?
What thoughts do you dwell on about your health?
What thoughts do you dwell on about your career?
Examine your memories: The past cannot be changed, but you can take action now to have a blissful future. Quit listening to your previous memories of disappointment, shame, failure, abuse, trauma, losses, and sadness let them come and pass. Dr Joe Dispenza said “a memory without emotion is wisdom”. Do not let memories influence your emotion? In any case make it a point to learn from memories but do not be stuck with them. Life is beautiful going back to the past is interrupting the stream of it.
You have to be attentive to what goes on in your head so that you can catch all the automatic memories that disrupt your life: In my attempt I constantly see images of me standing confuse and inadequate. I realized that these images are my past hopeless days in my village. Despite I had a Bachelors degree from one of the reputable universities in my country; these images keep reminding me of how inadequate I am. Through mindfulness attention I am now free from them.
Examine your emotions: Another powerful way we can examine our life is through our emotions, they can make you take action or destabilize you. Daniel Goleman wrote a book titled: Emotional intelligence in his writing I found it interesting to know that our ability attune to a particular emotion has something vitally important to do in our lives. If you are invariably filled with bitterness, guilt, pity, fear, sad you will create miserable conditions in your animation to match such emotions. The question is
Do I get easily offended or confuse?
Do I feel like other people own me something? If yes
Does this need come from my ‘should statement’ or that is the rule of life?
Do I feel like I must prove my worth to others?
Do I worry that others have achieved more in life than me?
Other relevant questions.
In morning, which emotion are you preoccupy with?
During the daytime, which emotion is preoccupied with?
Examine your beliefs: Beliefs are thoughts that influence our life. In other words, how you see the universe to be is your belief. They determine the effectiveness of our lifetimes. Self examination will help you to identify and eliminate all limiting beliefs that make you stuck in life.
There is no belief that is true. However, some are pleasant and some are not. The pleasant ones are those that serve us positively, some people called them positive beliefs. The unpleasant ones are those that do not serve us which are also called negative feelings. Here are some negative beliefs: I don’t need help from anyone, it’s too late, I’m alone in this, someone else is to blame, this too hard, I’m not happy until I’ve reached my end goal, I’m not good enough, life is so hard etc. The question is simple
Do you believe life loves you? If yes
Have you started pursuing your life goals? If no
What is holding you back?
Are still waiting for something o happen before start?
Examine your habits: In Charles Duhigg’s book the power of habit this what he says about a habit. “When a habit emerges, the brain stops fully participating in decision making. It stops working so hard, or diverts focus on other tasks. So unless you deliberately fight a habit—unless you find new routines—the pattern will unfold automatically”. Habits have great influence on the result we get in our lives, they are part of us and mostly we do them unconsciously. If we examine our life, it will help us get rid of unhealthy habits and cultivate the right ones in our life. The question is what are your habits: